PLEASE SEND ME YOUR Festival TIPS OR GENERAL
FESTIVAL IDEAS Fill in the Form below with your pearls of wisdom!!!!!
Laura laurac@demon.net
Chelmsford is a doddle - it's well laid out, there's a lot of space, the camping is
regimented, the access is easy and there aren't loads of crims there. You'll be
fine.
However, usual rules apply. Even though V98 doesn't attract the scum that flock to,
say, Glastonbury to rip people off that doesn't mean you're completely safe. DON'T
TAKE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE.
Honestly. Don't assume that people won't take things from your tent, or even in the
worst case take your tent. Old clothes, unless you're going to be wearing them all
the time, and keep your money and valuables with you wherever you go. God, I sound
like your mum, don't I?
Good shoes. You'll be tramping about a *lot*. For God's sake don't turn up in
strappy platforms like some girls were last year. Trainers are pretty good unless it
rains. A cap is also good, it got very hot
last year. Sarongs are a good bargain, you can wear them, sit on them, shelter under
them etc. And something warm for the evening - once the sun goes in it can get
pretty nippy so take a jumper or something. Oh, and you don't want to be wearing a
skirt if you're planning on going on
the gyroscopes/bouncy castles etc as all the boys stand around trying to look up girls
skirts. It's true, I swear.
If it even looks like it might rain, make sure you're prepared. (My idea of
preparation? Stay at home.) Take at least one change of clothes, wellies (not
v cool, but cooler than losing your trainers in the mud or getting trench foot from
wrapping your feet in plastic bags), warm socks, a towel, a decent raincoat/poncho, a roll
of strong binbags and a good sense of humour are essential. Hopefully it'll be a
scorcher though, in which case take some suntan lotion and make sure you drink plenty of
water blah blah blah. A box of baby wipes is also a wise thing to take, you'll be
grateful of them when it heats up.
Oh, and a nice deodorant :)
If you're camping - take extra tent pegs in case some get nicked and your tent falls
down. They don't let you light fires at Chelmsford (in fact they make you camp in
rows) so you probably won't spend much time
there anyway. A few Mars bars are always a good thing to have for when you get the
munchies and none of the stalls are open. You won't really need a torch as it's
pretty well lit, although a small one is useful for identifying your tent. Ear plugs
for when someone starts roaming around the campsite at 4 in the morning shouting at the
top of his voice (as happened last year). Take a camping pad/air mattress.
*Really* makes a difference to how much sleep you get and how warm you are.
Make sure that you get a cup of tea and some doughnuts from the doughnut stall at about
7pm. Don't buy loads of beer tokens unless you're sure you can drink them - we
bought far too many last year and you can't use Saturday tokens on the Sunday. At
the end of the day, give it a couple of hours before trying to get out of the car park -
we did that last year and found it really easy to get out of the place, hardly any traffic
at all. (If you're taking the train there *is* a shuttle bus but the queue can get
very long, take a good book or something.)
There, that's enough for now, isn't it?
AL AL_916@hotmail.com
Take as little as possible with u. Don't bother taking much food cos there won't be
time for eatin'. Take an old tent and sleeping bag, they WILL get wrecked
completely. MUD, RAIN. Take several bog rolls. This is not only useful to use but
can be sold for a hurendous profit or exchanged for beverages. Take a torch. Its hard to
find a tent in a feild of thousand at 4 in the morning not to mention dodging thousands of
tent ropes. The toilets have huge queues so try not to drink 2 much. Big boots
are essential as is waterproof clothing and bin bags. ENJOY!!!
Craig Gunn cgunn@ddapr.com
If going to Chelmsford and you in desperate need of one of those ominous morning toilet
moments then save it for when the gates open at 12.00am. Rush across the field to the
toilets by the NME stage as they would fresh and you can walk around for the rest of the
days a few pounds lighter and a much happier bunny all around
El Simon the otter boy procare@globalnet.co.uk
Don't take loads of fodder just 'cos u feel u have to do that camping thing, go and buy
your meals from the vans. Especially the jacket potato van, oooh jacket potato with curry
sauce, marvellous!!!
Be sociable, and generous with your lager, nobody likes a miserable twat.
For people going to Reading, get there early on the thursday and go straight for campsite
M theres always loads of space and u don't have to share 1 square foot with about 200
other tents!!
Generosity with firewood dooesn't go unnoticed!!!!!
Don't take anything heavy 'cos it's only a bugger on monday when you're still pissed up
from the night before
It's not clever to stay sober
The reputation the toilets get is completely unfair I'd have to say they are the most
marvellous toilets I've ever shat in and probably cleaner thhan the queens lavvy!!!
Whatever u get up to have a great time and if u hear a bloke shouting 'wheres my otter?'
that'll be me so come on over and have a few bevvy's!!!!!
C Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there!!!!! Freedom for llamas
Raymond Butler ryb6@aber.ac.uk
Make sure you are so pissed you won't get embarrassed if you find yourself running around
naked
nicola vandenbergomysta@hotmail.com
take a water proof jacket and dont drink too much like i did and faint during the
Verve!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!! nightmare!!!!
coming from experience i offer you the following tips
1: you will need lots of fags buy these in advance as you will end up paying £4 for 20
shitty lambert and butler i only normaly smoke 10 a day but at a festival you WILL smoke
more than normal ( trust me ).
2: take lots of dope with you although it is available there its not always good stuff so
again buy in advance. if you are considering buying a bong for this event then wait till
you get there the stalls have the widest selection of bongs you will ever see.
3: never under any sercomstances pitch your tent near the porter loos this may be ok for
the first hour or two but believe me you will suffer in the long run
4: take as much beer as possible as it is expensive and shit in the arena and other stalls
on site
5: get completely pissed and stoned and have a great time seeya all this year
i am gonna check out the new venue at weston park this year as i only live 5 mins down the
road
Terry Fraser terry@ourco333.demon.co.uk
Take prenty of beer because the beer sold on site is watered down
Dave, Simon and Shteevan poo@poo.poo.com
Make sure you camp next to a fence at the edge of the campsite so you can piss in the
woods!!! If you have to
trek to the festival loo's all the time your alcohol consumption will be cut down by a
large
amount!!! But don't shit in the woods as that's just sick!! Oh yeah, and if
you step in
something that feels like wet tissue, worry, it's probably sick! Also they don;t
check for drugs or anything so no worries there. Camp near a tower so you get some
light
and if your Dad's a rich shit then get him to buy you a remote control plane to
fly into the bands as that really pisses them off (do this especially if someone shite
like steps is playing!!! Lets see them dance with with a plane up their fucking
arses!
WET WIPES!!!!!
They are very welcome after a couple of days in a field! A definate must have
TIBS jtilsbur@nuskin.net
Dont take cans of beer etc. Normal rules apply and they will remove them.
I found a Cola bottle and a bit of JD worked nicely.
Please remember to drink some water during the weekend. In 97 it was a scorcher and there
were a shitload of casualties.
If you do fancy a pint, it is pointless standing at the end of the Q. I know as a nation
it is polite to patiently Q for things, but the reason you wont get anywear is because
everyone else is piling in up the front.
Just forget about your morals for a short while and push in like everyone else.
Watch the top end of the hill where the main stage is set, lots of chaps urinating. Not a
nice sight, or smell.
Oh, and finally, please dont do what I did last year - make sure you remember your
sleeping bags. It is very cold at night, and you will not get much sleep.
Cheers!
Matt Jarrett malcolm.jarrett@virgin.net
If it's cold, don't worry about it, when you've consumed 15 pints of lager and you're in
the middle of 10,000 people you really don't notice.
If it's raining and you want to watch the bands without sinking then go to the lights,
monitors etc that are in the crowd, they are surrounded by about 5 foot of metal, you can
stand on it and use the barrier to rest your beer on.
If you lose your friends, don't worry, you'll find new ones, bizarrely they'll probably
end up being from your home town however small it may be.
Last year someone nicked some of our beer but we ended up with more programs than we
bought so if you are a theif please use this nice 'goods swapping' idea
Stay away from the man that sells hash fudge, it seems like a good idea at the time but
you will not remember any band you subsequently watch.
Shouting bollocks is funny and clever especially when you can't sleep anyway due to the
tent spinning round your head when you close you eyes. It's not quite as funny as
the bloke in the tent next to us who yelled "have it you lucky bitch" to nobody
in particular.
Buy t-shirts on the last day when you know how much you've got left for beer.
Em
As a seasoned pro, I offer you these:
Be prepared - not only with your camping equipment, but physically as well. Training
is essential. Do not even think about going unless you have practised the art of
holding your nose whilst wiping your arse, without overbalancing from your squatting
position above a mound of poo.... Failing this take your very own porta-loo as I
intend to, or master crapping in a carrier bag. These can be sneakily
deposited on someone else's rubbish pile at around 4 a.m.
To avoid all toilet-related trauma's, eat bananas and hard-boiled eggs on your way
there. This can be easily remedied on Monday morning when you leave, by stopping at
the Little Chef on the A12 towards London, and having a bloody great fry-up. Expect
3,000 others to follow you there, so get up early and leave before the crowds.
Snackable food is always a good bet - pot noodles etc are a bonus at 2 a.m. when you've
smoked yourself to a standstill, and have a bad attack of the munchies.
Top Tip - if you have the stamina (and if you can be arsed), take your mum's cool box
filled with cans of your favourite alcoholic beverage, empty a couple of bags of ice on
top (99p from supermarkets) and finish off with some cold water. As your fellow
campers complain of piss-warm beer/extortionate price of a pint, you'll be happily
quaffing an ice cold tinny, late into Sunday. Don't take bottles, they don't allow
them on site.
Outdoor candles are a marvellous idea, but make sure you put them somewhere safe when you
go off.... these are prime targets for unscrupulous fellow campers.
Finally, don't forget your tent poles, as we did last year. Luckily we managed to
erect a structure which provided adequate shelter, but looked like an ageing hippies
abode. The upside to this was we could see it a mile off, so take something to
indicate where your tent is - a Union Jack flag might seem like a good idea at the time,
but it won't be when it's pissing down with rain and you're trying to locate your tent
amongst 15,000 others with Union Jack flags.
Have fun kids, see you there!!
P.S. Shouting 'bollocks' has been going on for years, it's not big, it's not clever, but
highly amusing after 10 lagers and a couple of j's!
Take a couple of big 3 litre plastic bottles with you
so you can get all
your days water in one go so you don't have to walk all over the place when
you're off your head - it helps!!!
Don't take too many clothes - you won't use 'em - everyone's gonna smell
anyway so don't worry. Don't be a theiving aggressive w****r cos everyone
will hate you. That's about it - have a laugh and we'll see ya there!!!
Reko and Andy
Essential festival stuff.
Ever been wondering around, looking for your mates.......? Yes most
people who i have bumped into have been. I have been to every summer
festival since 1994, working for W.A.V.E (Welafre At Venues &
Events) Run by the red cross (warwickshire)
And streams of people never seem to be able to find their friends or
worse still get robbed. What ever the story they mostly end up with
us. Because we do provide advice on safe sex, local information,
travel info, drugs info, you name it we know about it.
so my advice is, find a place to meet your mates and stick to it,
hide all your money, or take as little as possible.
Festival TOP TIP: Campers, every morning. put your tent into left
luggage to save yourself from theft. You know it makes sense, i speak
from experience.
for more info
Write to
W.A.V.E British Red Cross
19 Coventry Road,
Cubbington,
Leamington Spa
Lee Vessey jrvesseywazzer@hotmail.com
make sure that if you go down to mosh that you're:-
A. Strong
B. Not a Girl
Rick Yule richard.yule@iclsofttech.com
Dear festival-goers,
Here is a snippet of my hard-earned festival knowledge:
1. DON'T use padlocks. Although it will stop casual passers-by having a quick look to see
if there's anything worth nicking, the heavy mob will just rip your tent out of the
ground, sling it over their shoulder and after slashing it open and nicking everything,
discard it. Thieves can also slash open a locked tent. Eitherways, instead of maybe losing
beer, cash, etc. you lose everything + tent. Normally, if your tent is nicked, they're
only interested in the contents, and so assuming that your tent is labelled (another tip -
label everything) it and the un-nicked contents will be returned to you at some point.
Also, of course, it implies that stuff worth nicking is inside. By the way, sleep with
stuff at back of tent - just because you're there doesn't mean they won't nick stuff.
2. DON'T take complicated/bulky/moist food. Last festival I went to, after the first day I
really couldn't be arsed setting up stove for cooking - also, due to lack of water
cleaning pans/plates or adding water to noodles was too much effort. Also, 'wet' food (eg
tins) is very heavy - it all ads up. take snacky food, buy your proper meals there. Same
for drink + fags. Only take spirits - anything else is to heavy to bring in quantity - buy
from backs of dodgy transits. Also fags normally £3 for 20, so buy there - also fags get
squashed/drowned in tent, so buy as you need.
3. Take bin bags and gaffa tape. Wellies are essential, but when water sloshes in it is
there to stay. Insert leg in bin bag, then into wellie. Apply gaffa (carpet/duct tape,
parcel tape sort of works) at intervals up leg, to avoid overtly baggy bags. REMEMBER to
change bags as often as possible, dry feet when changing. Use newspaper or similar stuffed
inside wellies overnight to dry them inside. DON'T leave wellies in porch of tent as they
get nicked. If your legs do get muddy, clean them as often as you can. three-day-old caked
mud is uncomfortable and excrutiating to get off.
4. DO take expandable water containers. They collapse for carrying when empty, and will
take many litres when full. Saves on boot leather, esp. when muddy.
5. DON'T take anything you can't afford to lose. Take a bank card, put it in the safe
deposit box if there is one. You can use bank machines in town. Keep cash in a money belt
or similar. Remember, as long as you have cash, you can lose anything and still survive.
You can always share a tent if that goes. Only buy beer, fags etc as you need them, so if
it gets nicked it's not too much of a disaster.
Have a good one, remember the most important tip is to KEEP SMILING!!!
sarah warriner sarah@wagen.demon.co.uk
If you wana get to the front of the stage, go around the sides and push across to the
centre. Works (almost)every time!
Chris Love p.love@virgin.net
Take an inflateable to throw into the crowd, a light stick to attach to your friends so
you can find them after dark and always throw at people into the crowd the dark.Also Water
pistols can provide high quality amusement.
Jim McKenzie
DO NOT go for a shit in the portoloos on the last day of any festival unless you want to
be sick!! At the the Temple Newsam at Leeds theres plenty of pefectly good bushes
and trees.
SCOTT
DRINK AT NIGHT,EAT IN THE DAY. ONCE YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF 40000 PEOPLE, ITS NOT EASY TO
GO FOR A SLASH!
Jules erictheseagull@hotmail.com
1.Don't cop off with a moron at the start of the day, otherwise they'll follow you around
for the next 48 hours boring you to death and ruining your weekend.
2. If you're the kind of moron refered to in tip 1, DON'T GO TO V98.
Kelly Reeves BTaylor634@AOL.com
1.) Take a mallet, essential for the construction of most tents.(shoes don't actually
work)
2.) If planning on a good nights sleep, don't!!Particularly if your tent is next to the
dance tent or the toilets.
3.) Take plenty of water as the taps run out after approx 2 hours.
Here's a few top tips
for you. Make sure that everyone takes suntan lotion. I went to V96 and got absolutely
burnt to a crisp. Take lots of money and drink plenty of water to prevent dehydration or
if all else fails get blind drunk!!!
Tracey Ricco
Last year they were giving out £1 for every full bag
of rubbish collected
Also, take loads of water, keep the bottles (I know
it was very tempting to sling them at Gary Stringer!) and go onto the site at about 2am.
You can then fill the bottles up without queuing!
Here's a few top tips
for you. Make sure that everyone takes suntan lotion. I went to V96 and got absolutely
burnt to a crisp. Take lots of money and drink plenty of water to prevent dehydration or
if all else fails get blind drunk!!!
A tip for festival-goers that seems to have been
overlooked:
DON'T FORGET TO GO AND SEE SOME BANDS.
1.First off all dont forget to bring your tent and
more importantly beer.BTW, I think you can bring beer into the campsite but not into the
arena.
2.Dont leave anything valuable like your beer unattended. Otherwise make sure at least one
person in your party is to out of his/her head to leave the tent. Otherwise it will get
robbed.
3.Dont go swimming in the Thames without your clothes on because everyone on the Thames
riverboat cruises can see you.
4.On a more serious note, if you are on medication, don't forget your pills. There is a
First Aid tent at the festival if you have an attack of something or other. I was in there
last year twice with asthma attacks, did you know that Julianna Hatfield came in to get
headache tablet while I was there.
5.Take a big bottle of water into the main arena with you, otherwise you could endup
dehydrated, plus it's proberbly cheaper than buying bottled water while your in there.
6.As the Festival site is quite close to the town centre, why not pop into town and get
yourself a big slap up breaky in the morning at some greasy caf.gorgeous.
7.Once you get into the arena pick a place where you and all your mates can meet up if you
get split up at some point, the bar is usually a good one.
Andy
Essential Tip: Take a whole load of bin bags with you
when you're camping so that when it rains you just shove everything (including yourself
probably!) into one and it doesn't get wet - clever eh?! Wish I'd done that last year,
everything got drenched the first day!!!
See ya there! Caroline
How about don't forget your loo roll for those
wonderful loos.......and er........if you a mopey git we don't want you for the
festival......we want fun loving happy go lucky "yeah course you can have a beer mate
- even if i don't know who you are " kinda people!!!!
Waheed Ahmed 94127968@brookes.ac.uk Mopey Git
Don't forget the baby wipes!!! They're extra useful
for cleansing the face and hands in the morning so you don't have to join the ridiculous
ques for grubby cold water to wash with!! The other thing is that it is useful to know
that the toilets are usually cleanest mid morning (just after the poo suckers have been)
it's worth waiting!!! xfq95@dial.pipex.com Wed, 26 Feb 1997
Take loads of diarrhea tablets to stop you from
having to go to those stinky bogs. If, however, you do desperatly need to go then:
a) don't go on the last night because people push 'em over (as happened to a friend of
mine)
b) position yourself about 2 inches above the rim of the seat and aim bloody carefully!
c) respect other bog patrons (this counts not only for having a crap)
Also, get a taxi from the station because it's a bloody long way to walk. While I'm
thinking about it, don't drink on the train because if you need to go to the bog on the
way to the field, you're buggered!
See ya there!
John Bower
If your planning to camp at the festival like the
vast majority and don't want to have to walk the london marathon to the main arena then
get there and pitch your tent on the Thursday, otherwise it'll be too late and you'll be
miles away from the arena.
Two other points are never ever pitch your tent downwind or within 50 yards of the toilets
because at the end of the weekend the stench will be unbearable.
Chris Jones
;))))) well u should have a good tent withougt holes
in it....and have blankets it can get bit cold during the nights especially if it
rains...and they charge u a lot for a blanket inside the festival.....;))) and buy the
beer close by the festival not trhe first store u see or else u have to carrie loads of it
too the festival;)) hehhee see u there ICE!!!
Loki
1. Get there early on the Thursday, and try to get
yout tent close(ish) to the arena.
2. DONT pitch your tent too near to the road - if it rains the cars will spray mud all
over your tent.
3. If you travel by car, pack up your stuff on the Sunday morning, put it in the car then
go to see the final day of bands. You can then leave for home late Sunday or early Monday
morning, avoiding the rush
See you there!!!!
Neil Smith
when it rained last year, we bought survival bags
from the town centre, one to put our stuffin, and one to put our sleeping bags(and
ourselves) in. they're better than bin bags, and only cost about 3 quid each
Caroline Watson
Whatever you do, do not pitch your tent in a ditch or
even a slight dip as all the rain floods in. Last year we had a good laugh at my friends
tent as it looked more like a pond.
Also dont buy your alcohole from the small local shops as they treble their prices, about
\24325 for 15 beers is poor. Try sainsburys or other supermarkets.
Small padlocks for your zips are good as we had \24330 taken from our teny, WHILE WE
SLEPT! Keep the key(s) safe on a necklace.
One last thing, dont get too intoxicated as you might miss the bands, asleap in a bin or
something.
Henry C Woodcock
Take those water purifying tablets that your mum
takes to Greece and Spain on holiday (get them from a chemist, they'll know what you
mean), fill an empty bottle from the tap and then purify it for washing, cleaning your
teeth, shaving your legs and boiling for a lovely cuppa. Its a lot cheaper than buying
tonnes of Evian from Sainsburys. Oh, if you go to Sainsburys don't try to 'borrow' a
trolley, they had security posted outside last year banning those in DM's and trainers
from having a trolley.
Even if your tent is new(ish) take some bin bags in case somethihng goes wrong. Tent seam
sealer is a good idea too, the dome type tents can stretch the seams so it lets in LOTS of
water. Take a few Tesco bags to sit on in the arena, even if it doesn't rain you don't
know what the hell you might be parked on.
Paracetomol, plasters, baby wipes, SUN TAN LOTION is essential.
GO to the riverside inn (or whatever its called) (Pipers Island?? ,Andy)along the
river bank, they do a stonking fried breakfast or half fried breakfast for #3/#1.50.
Taxi from the station only costs about #2.50, its well worth it.
Nick some bog roll from home, people get so desperate they'll pay you for it. Take loads
of it to the bog so you can wipe the seat or line the seat with it.
Don't walk around with no shoes on, people will piss anywhere, and there's glass
everywhere, people also bring their dogs....
Happy camping. See you there! Amanda s9609562chelt.ac.uk
couple of things:
Forget Pipers Island, Walk a little bit over the bridge and goto the Crown Pub. Run by
Butch and Di it's ace and has a pool table and they install portaloos specially over the
fest for all the festival goers. They do an Excellent all-day breakfast for no much cash
and the beer is top.
Also when you need to use the phone, you walk past the Crown into Caversham. There's 2
phones there that ALWAYS (ie the last 6 years) have about 50 people outside. Well walk
about 100 yards around the corner and there's 4 more phones that hardly anyone ever stands
outside (i guess they all phone their mummies and then shop for copious amounts of Lager)
- Fair Play.
Also the Fair is usually a laff but dont drop your keks on the spinny upside downy ride
cos they ban you from the fair. I speak from Experience.
Gregster
Who Camps at the fest even though he lives 5 minutes away.:-)
1 - Try if you can to take your own food, a small
camping stove and something to cook in (small saucepan!). Heavy - Maybe, but it is way
cheaper and safer that one of Reading Festival's own BSE burgers!!
2 - I agree with whoever sugested the 'Baby' wipes. I took loads last year and I ended up
flogging them for a beer a square! (good business!)
3 - Try not to wear too much into the arena if you are planning to 'mosh' or crowd surf,
it gets hot, very sweaty and you will have no where to put your unwanted layers, if crowd
surfing your excess (and other) clothing WILL get ripped off and that goes for jewellery
especially peircings (not a pretty sight - they bleed like buggery)
4 - If it rains you WILL get wet no matter how hard you try, take a towel or two and keep
them in bin bags in your tent, they will be appreciated!
5 - Keep a good fire lit at all times or you may find that some desperate psycho has
parked their tent on your nicely glowing embers over night, they maybe well used to
'hot-rock' burns in the floor of the tent but they may think twice about it burning to
ashes with all their stuff in it!!
6 - If you like your space then don't camp in a field that is right next to the arena. It
is a real pain trying not to go arse-over-tit over all the guy ropes. (and tent pegs tend
to get nicked too)
7 - DON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE LOOS (no-one is that desperate for a slash/dump, go into
the town!)
8 - We don't want any miserable-hard-done-by-too-deep-to-be-spoken-to-gits because we are
all there to have a good time and you will no doubt piss some one right off! Don't bother
going!
9 - Have a good one!
10 - See you there!
From Ratty
ratty@queenswood.herts.sch.uk
Don't even consider trying to use the toilets in
McDonalds, everyone else will have thought of it first. Although it is a laff watching the
staff go ape because of the chaos and flooded loos.
If you are travelling by coach or train try not to pack food, it really weighs you down.
When you arrive get straight down to Sainsburys in town and stock up, its a lot easier.
Remember that what you cook in has to be washed up, dried baked beans are a bit poo to
scrape off a plate at 3 in the morning when you fancy a sarnie.
Amanda s9609562@chelt.ac.uk
A word about tents...
People will nick your tent pegs even while you're sleeping in the damn thing, it's a bit
poo when it's gets really windy. If you find you are short on tent pegs 'borrow' some from
the ******* who camped on your burnt out fire while you were sleeping. There's nothing
worse than waking up and finding your panoramic view is destroyed by a giant orange leaky
canvas tent with plastic windows and seventies floral curtains.
Rant rant mumble grumble etc. Amanda
I went to the festival last year and i have some good
tips:
1) For a great breakfast and a nice cup of tea try Betts cafe.
2) Worried about using the chemical toilets (you should be) Wait till the Arena is open
and you will find clean flushing toilets with sinks.
3) Don't avoid blokes flogging stuff out of Transits. Last year we bought tons of beer and
loads of fags really cheap.
4) Putting a padlock on yout tents zip is a good and bad idea. Thieving Rabbi's think that
you must have something worth nicking in it or it dissuades them.
5) Try and meet loads of new friends. Gather at one camp site in the evening and have a
fire with loads of people. The reason for this is firewoods about #3.
2142MORROWB@montagu.theplanet.co.uk
1) Dont buy a T-shirt (except maybe for an ultra cool
reading'97 one) until the sunday/monday. The slaesmen get desperate and start dropping the
prices. This sometimes happens to the programmes as well, but not always, so its well
worth buying one of them on the first day.
2) Dont camp near any of the poles that hole up the lights. They WILL get pulled over and
may well **** your tent.
3) Try to bring something to make a flag pole from, and also a bright flag. Trust me,
after fifteen pints, every tent on the planet looks the same!
4) Dont fiddle with your band. If it gets too loose the guards may not let you into the
arena. Not good.
5) Look out for someone dressed in a black hood, banging a kettle and screaming 'BRING OUT
YOUR DEAD'. That'll be me.
Rictus.
1) Don`t believe any cacky rumours people tell you.
Ie we were told that green day had cancelled a couple of years ago. Lying bunch of bum.
2) Don`t take any cookable food, I know you feel like you have to do that camping thang
but it takes up alot less drinking if you take snack food
3) Try and hang around the arena after dark on the sunday night as for some reason they
were giving away crates of kiora (well somebody was handing them out anyhow)
4) Never stand near the wobbly people. These drunken mites have a tendency to go the
toilet right on the edge of the moshpit and you may be caught in the firing line sonny.
(use what you will of these valuable tips)
>From Simon
Dave, Simon and Shteevan poo@poo.poo.com
Make sure you camp next to a fence at the edge of the campsite so you can piss in the
woods!!! If you have to
trek to the festival loo's all the time your alcohol consumption will be cut down by a
large
amount!!! But don't shit in the woods as that's just sick!! Oh yeah, and if
you step in
something that feels like wet tissue, worry, it's probably sick! Also they don;t
check for drugs or anything so no worries there. Camp near a tower so you get some
light
and if your Dad's a rich shit then get him to buy you a remote control plane to
fly into the bands as that really pisses them off (do this especially if someone shite
like steps is playing!!! Lets see them dance with with a plane up their fucking
arses!
Bye Bye
Simon, Shteevan, And Dave "wanker"TIBS jtilsbur@nuskin.net
Dont take cans of beer etc. Normal rules apply and they will remove them.
I found a Cola bottle and a bit of JD worked nicely.
Please remember to drink some water during the weekend. In 97 it was a scorcher and there
were a shitload of casualties.
If you do fancy a pint, it is pointless standing at the end of the Q. I know as a nation
it is polite to patiently Q for things, but the reason you wont get anywear is because
everyone else is piling in up the front.
Just forget about your morals for a short while and push in like everyone else.
Watch the top end of the hill where the main stage is set, lots of chaps urinating. Not a
nice sight, or smell.
Oh, and finally, please dont do what I did last year - make sure you remember your
sleeping bags. It is very cold at night, and you will not get much sleep.
Cheers!
Matt Jarrett malcolm.jarrett@virgin.net
If it's cold, don't worry about it, when you've consumed 15 pints of lager and you're in
the middle of 10,000 people you really don't notice.
If it's raining and you want to watch the bands without sinking then go to the lights,
monitors etc that are in the crowd, they are surrounded by about 5 foot of metal, you can
stand on it and use the barrier to rest your beer on.
If you lose your friends, don't worry, you'll find new ones, bizarrely they'll probably
end up being from your home town however small it may be.
Last year someone nicked some of our beer but we ended up with more programs than we
bought so if you are a theif please use this nice 'goods swapping' idea
Stay away from the man that sells hash fudge, it seems like a good idea at the time but
you will not remember any band you subsequently watch.
Shouting bollocks is funny and clever especially when you can't sleep anyway due to the
tent spinning round your head when you close you eyes. It's not quite as funny as
the bloke in the tent next to us who yelled "have it you lucky bitch" to nobody
in particular.
Buy t-shirts on the last day when you know how much you've got left for beer.
Chris Evans c.evans@n-shropshire.ac.uk
- make sure you share a tent with
a)someone good looking i.e. Kelly Jones
b)someone who doesn't smell
- Make sure you pitch your tent near convenient bushes or trees, in case of
desperate need for toilet!!!
- take plenty of booze, as their supply may be contaminated. Also, if your anything
like us, you may get withdrawl symptoms.
- Don't go wearing platform shoes, no matter how short you may be. Also you may sink
in the mud
have a good time and see you their
luv the Brady Bunch
Tommi Mitchell tommi@madheadz.freeserve.co.uk
1. Do not under any circumstances shit in the woods! If you do, like my mate you will get
severely fined!!!
Its a bastard if you do get fined for takin a dump!
2. Take plenty of beer as beer on site is 2 quid per half pint, and is watered down by the
shits that serve you.
3. If you queue for beer for ages and when you finally get to the front and they ask you
for id, and you dont have any, take the sympathy vote and say "Ive bee queing in the
pissing down rain/boiling hot sun for x number of minutes and now i get asked for id, well
thanks a fuckin' lot" and they will probably sympathise and seve you
I will be going to V99 this year, so if you see someone with bright blue hair, pissed off
their face, come and talk to me, im really fun, honest, i'll be goin to the weston Park
V99
The Particle Doctor
palcon"cableinet.co.uk
Wear your baggiest combat trousers with a gazillion pockets, you can stash loads of
contraband and cans of beer etc.. and not have them confiscated at the barriers. Glass
bottles also arn't allowed. Good thing really if you saw the complete melee of empty
bottles hunmming in the air last year near the main stage, causing Beck to duck in V97
also.
Suzanne 5262@stmartins.essex.sch.uk
Go to the toilet as much as physically possible during the bands you want to see. You'll
need to take this advise espescially if you are planing on drinking the Huge Buckets of
Budwieser. I didn't take this advise last year and ended up having to piss in on of the
cups during The Allsaints set.
John jwcollens@aol.com
HA! Well, all i can say is that if you are going to take your own alcohol to drink outside
the arena (they don't let you take cans into the arena, BASTARDS!), take Miller(in cans)
of about 15 different beers we took, it is the only one that is nice(when i say nice, i
mean drinkable) after it's been sat in a hot tent all day, whilst you've been bouncing
around to all those top groups.Oh, DON'T EAT THE NOODLES!!!!!!!!!
bec 57246017@mmu.ac.uk
Never, and I repeat NEVER!!!!! stand in front of a drunken bloke in the crowd, as he's
likley to whip it out and piss down the back of your legs...!!!!!!! and dont be fooled
into thinking thats a pint of water thats just smacked you on the back of your head.?!?!?!
Keef Keef0@hotmail.com
1-Take plenty of your own bog roll
2- Have a shower before you go (only wimps have one there)
3 Noodles are a student style food necessity
4- Stock up on Tesco little beer bottles (small but loads will result in being very
pissed)
5- On no circumstances pitch your tent near some scottish people that can do 3 blind mice
Radiohead fashion.
6- Don't plan on using the loos at Reading on the last night as bets are they won't be
standing and if one is and you use it there is also the chance that you will get covered
in all the crap when somebody does tip it over.
7- Abuse the police
8- Run around the campsites pretending to be COrnholio and don't plan on the police being
polite.
Keef 988127630@98.humber.ac.uk
If you go to Reading this year and are in the town center and desperate for a
slash then there is a really swanky restaurant/cafe across the road to Barclays
with nice swanky toilets with wooden seats and no signs of any festival goers.
Also take the p**s out of the people selling tickets outside the site by shouting
"Biscuits for sale, will swap a biscuit for a ticket". Guaranteed to annoy them
especially if you have not had a shower for three days.
Also anyone who gets approached by a blonde lad this year trying to gain money
for his shower fund, be kind as last year only one 16 yr old (female of course) felt
pity for me and gave me 20p. So if you are reading this then thanks it helped me
phone my mum on the way home so she would have a beer nicely chilled ready
for me.
Bobalog chick johnwat@globalnet.co.uk
Loo roll and plenty of it - especially if you are a chick
cos you'll use lots. Errrrrr take your friends and a
glow stick to find them when you have been bravelymoshing.
Take a camera with a good flash so that when Tim from
Ash stands close to you you can get a good photo and not
an entry into the dodgy photo comp!
Take chocolate digestives: good for breakfast, tea and
the munchies. Don't take Bacardi and coke and leave it
in the sun before you drink it. Big headache will ensue.
Take shoes and good ones although it is funto take the
piss out of the tarts in the strappy heels Laura.
Take sun cream and also stuff like paracetamol.
Phone your mum once to tell her you are alive. Do this
when there are no queues cos you could be missing a really good band. Try and get yourself
on the telly by taking your top off is a must.
Bye bye for now. See you at Reading only this year cos I will be abroad.
Bobalog xxx
If you think of any other 'tips' you
feel everyone should know fill in the form at the top of this page.
coming from experience i offer you the following tips
1: you will need lots of fags buy these in advance as you will end up paying £4 for 20
shitty lambert and butler i only normaly smoke 10 a day but at a festival you WILL smoke
more than normal ( trust me ).
2: take lots of dope with you although it is available there its not always good stuff so
again buy in advance. if you are considering buying a bong for this event then wait till
you get there the stalls have the widest selection of bongs you will ever see.
3: never under any sercomstances pitch your tent near the porter loos this may be ok for
the first hour or two but believe me you will suffer in the long run
4: take as much beer as possible as it is expensive and shit in the arena and other stalls
on site
5: get completely pissed and stoned and have a great time seeya all this year
i am gonna check out the new venue at weston park this year as i only live 5 mins down the
road
nicola vandenbergomysta@hotmail.com
take a water proof jacket and dont drink too much like i did and faint during the
Verve!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!! nightmare!!!!
procare@globalnet.co.uk
Don't take loads of fodder just 'cos u feel u have to do that camping thing, go and buy
your meals from the vans. Especially the jacket potato van, oooh jacket potato with curry
sauce, marvellous!!!
Be sociable, and generous with your lager, nobody likes a miserable twat.
For people going to Reading, get there early on the thursday and go straight for campsite
M theres always loads of space and u don't have to share 1 square foot with about 200
other tents!!
Generosity with firewood dooesn't go unnoticed!!!!!
Don't take anything heavy 'cos it's only a bugger on monday when you're still pissed up
from the night before
It's not clever to stay sober
The reputation the toilets get is completely unfair I'd have to say they are the most
marvellous toilets I've ever shat in and probably cleaner thhan the queens lavvy!!!
Whatever u get up to have a great time and if u hear a bloke shouting 'wheres my otter?'
that'll be me so come on over and have a few bevvy's!!!!!
C Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there!!!!! Freedom for llamas